On a positive note...

I think I just booked a birth photographer.
With Malikai I had my birth video taped, with Tiler we had that same idea, but everything happened so quickly there was no time. and Bennett, well we forgot. oops :(
So now, without the stress of having Justin or a family member tape it, I am going to hire a photographer.
We are going to start with getting pics taken of the kids, just to get a feel for her and vice versa. We are booked for June 19th at 5pm.
She hasn't done a birth yet, but seeing pics she has taken, I am confidant she will do great and she seems excited to do it as well.
here is her site:
http://www.khollystudios.com/

I am very excited!!

22 Weeks

HOLY COW! I am in my 6th month now. ummm.. ::faints::. im not ready and im freaking out. I can't do this. ugh
Malikai and Tiler push me to my limit on a daily basis. Bennett is following close behind. he is picking up on SO many things that his brother and sister do that its not even funny. Summer is coming up very quickly and the heat sucks. That has me on edge alot. We have a dinky window air conditioner, but I hate running it cause the cost can add up very quickly, but how much of this misery can I really take?
I am surprised my blood pressure isn't through the roof because of the daily stress and crap I have. Phone calls left and right, bills, lack of GOOD food in my house. ugh I really need to do some grocery shopping, but even the thought of dragging the kids out to the store for a couple hours to attempt shopping is not appealing. They HATE grocery shopping. They are decent when we go to other stores (mall), but the grocery store is a joke.
Every single freaking time I talk to any of my family members on the phone they now ask me if I know what I am having and if I am getting an ultrasound. Once again every single time I tell them NO, this baby will be a surprise, NO I am not getting an ultrasound. Its just not necessary. I have a low risk pregnancy, baby and me both are very healthy, why get an ultrasound? What so my family can know what I am having?? @@ Im so over talking to them. I remember my last pregnancy, from 36 weeks on I was getting calls daily wanting to know if I was in labor yet. Can you imagine what I felt like when I was still pregnant on my due date. Then my mother had the nerve to get pissed at me when I didn't call her the second my labor started. A couple days prior to going into labor I started having false labor contractions, thought it was "it", so I called my mom and she stressed me out so bad over the phone that the contractions stopped. Learned my lesson the hard way.
Now she has the nerve to get irritated with me when I tell her I am going to give birth in my living room. I have a bigger pool this time around and my living room is the only room that is big enough. She wants to know where everyone is suppose to go when I am giving birth. I don't fricken care, Stand right over me and watch. The more the merrier. Not like she hasn't seen me give birth before. She just likes to bitch about anything and everything UGH.

So after all this complaining, the bottom line is, how the heck am I going to handle another child???? I know there are plenty of women out there that have more children than me, but thats them. They obviously have patience like no other. I know once the baby is here, he or she will fall into place within our family, but looking at it now, I am scared to death here. With my others, I felt ready from very early on. So I feel a bit guilty that my feelings are not falling into place this time.

Ok, well I had another appt with Susan on Monday.

Heartbeat was in the 140s. cant remember exact cause Bennett was crawling all over me and I couldnt hear what she said lol. found out the hard way that the baby doesnt like its HB heard, started kicking VERY hard right where she put the doppler. it was borderline painful. moving stopped as soon as she took the doppler off and I haven't felt a kick since.gained 5 pounds in a month, so that puts me at 25 pounds total ugh!Im measuring a little over 2 weeks ahead, but I measured big for my last 2 kids so its nothing unusual for me.so thats it, she is coming back in a month!

Here is a pic from today:
I have taken on a more rounded look rather than sticking straight out like I was last week. Look a little more normal this week

Last Week of Month 5!! 21 weeks

Well here goes my last week of month 5! Again, where has this time went??
I am feeling the baby move constantly now. I can now feel him/her on the outside, so the kicks are getting nice and strong.
Haven't gotten he/shes sleep schedule completely down yet. So far he/she is awake around 7-8ish am, asleep around 9-10ish and awake whenever I go to bed. Go figure huh? Pretty typical of my kids though. They were always night owls while I was pregnant with them.
My next appt is coming up on the 2nd already. These past 4 weeks flew by, seems like I JUST saw her.
the thing that sucks though is I need to pay her still. We made a payment to her already, but now its crunch time and the funds are just not there. I dont know how we are going to fit that into our daily bills right now. I have been busting my butt with my business to try and bring some $$ in, but it still never seems like enough.

Enough of that depressing crap.
Here is a pic from today. starting to really pop out. The start of having breathing difficulties has hit me. I am getting winded easily while walking around and laying down on my back is not easy, but it also seems to be the only way I can fall asleep @@

Halfway There!

Wow! I am 20 weeks today. Halfway there. I am having a hard time coping with that. With my other pregnancies it went by SO slow and now that I am not prepared (more mentally than anything) it is going by SO fast.
I am sick right now, so that has me in the dumps. luckily the kids are not sick as well. Still wish I could get a nap in or something. Not kicking this as quickly as I usually do.
Here is a 20 week belly shot and some pics of the kids from this morning :)

Bennett. I caught him off guard in this pic. good thing though, its super cute

Malikai cheesing it for the camera like usual

Tiler. I cant wait for the day she doesnt have to wear a patch on her eye. She is up to 3 hours a day, so we do it first thing in the morning, which happens to be the time I like to take pictures so most of the pics of her is with the patch on :(

20 WEEKS!!

19 weeks

Ok, here I am onto week 19. Can't believe I am in my 5th month. This is crazy. Since I can't post the neat little picture, here is a link that shows the trimester timeline:
http://theparentsite.com/pregnancy/trimesters.asp

Somehow this last week I have gained way too much weight. I really dont know how especially since I have been SO busy and rather active. I thought I was just eating crap, until today when I can't seem to stay off the toilet. It was water weight. I was hoping it was that! I still need to get my diet in check though. yuck!

I keep forgetting to post, but for some time now we have had names picked out.
Boy: Jameson E.
Girl: Justyce Marie

I am not sure how I feel about the "Y" in the girls name, it does make it kinda girly I guess.
the boys' name takes after my grandfather. His name is James E (Just the letter E). The girl first name has no meaning, but the middle name is the same as my grandmother.

Here is a pic taken today:



Here is a couple CRAPPY pictures. I can't get it to show up, doesnt help that they are quite faded now. But last week I decided to try out Henna. I have been wanting another tattoo for quite some time now, and I cant get one while pregnant, so what better way. Its not in the place I wanted it, but it will do. the only part that really counts is the 4 "letters" going down my arm, the other stuff random stuff playing around. I flipped the pic, so the tattoo was facing the right way. But they are Japanese wording, each standing for the kids' first letter of their name.
Malikai
Tiler
Bennett
Jameson or Justyce

I really like it and I think once I have the baby I am going to go make it permanant. Really looking forward to that

OT: Check out this site

Here is a link that I would love for you to check out. Aside from this site being set up by my cousin and his wife, its a great cause!
Spread the word!
http://www.supportliteracyinamerica.org/Site/NLNMain.html

Late Again

One of these days I swear I will post on time and more consistantly. I always have good intentions of doing so.
I am 18 weeks 3 days now. CRAZY.
Had my appt with my midwife (Susan) on Tuesday. Everything is great. my blood pressure was slightly elevated, but I had been on my feet all morning and right up until she got here. According to her scale I had only gained 10 ounces since my last appt. According to my scale that is a different story ::sigh::. I am up 18 pounds :( damn kit kat bars lol
Had to have that ever so lovely pap too. blah. It was quick and easy, just never a thing I WANT to do, but who does?? at least its over with for another year. Oh and once again the baby was hiding, but managed to find the heartbeat a little quicker this time. down to 151 now. Still can't go by old wives tales since all my kids have had the same general heart rate. All well. What, just another 22 weeks before we know what we are having. Its going by so fast now, so it won't be too bad.
I took a picture last week. I was 17 weeks 4 days. I think popped out more since. I will take another pic on Wednesday when I am 19 weeks.