Malikai and Tiler push me to my limit on a daily basis. Bennett is following close behind. he is picking up on SO many things that his brother and sister do that its not even funny. Summer is coming up very quickly and the heat sucks. That has me on edge alot. We have a dinky window air conditioner, but I hate running it cause the cost can add up very quickly, but how much of this misery can I really take?
I am surprised my blood pressure isn't through the roof because of the daily stress and crap I have. Phone calls left and right, bills, lack of GOOD food in my house. ugh I really need to do some grocery shopping, but even the thought of dragging the kids out to the store for a couple hours to attempt shopping is not appealing. They HATE grocery shopping. They are decent when we go to other stores (mall), but the grocery store is a joke.
Every single freaking time I talk to any of my family members on the phone they now ask me if I know what I am having and if I am getting an ultrasound. Once again every single time I tell them NO, this baby will be a surprise, NO I am not getting an ultrasound. Its just not necessary. I have a low risk pregnancy, baby and me both are very healthy, why get an ultrasound? What so my family can know what I am having?? @@ Im so over talking to them. I remember my last pregnancy, from 36 weeks on I was getting calls daily wanting to know if I was in labor yet. Can you imagine what I felt like when I was still pregnant on my due date. Then my mother had the nerve to get pissed at me when I didn't call her the second my labor started. A couple days prior to going into labor I started having false labor contractions, thought it was "it", so I called my mom and she stressed me out so bad over the phone that the contractions stopped. Learned my lesson the hard way.
Now she has the nerve to get irritated with me when I tell her I am going to give birth in my living room. I have a bigger pool this time around and my living room is the only room that is big enough. She wants to know where everyone is suppose to go when I am giving birth. I don't fricken care, Stand right over me and watch. The more the merrier. Not like she hasn't seen me give birth before. She just likes to bitch about anything and everything UGH.
So after all this complaining, the bottom line is, how the heck am I going to handle another child???? I know there are plenty of women out there that have more children than me, but thats them. They obviously have patience like no other. I know once the baby is here, he or she will fall into place within our family, but looking at it now, I am scared to death here. With my others, I felt ready from very early on. So I feel a bit guilty that my feelings are not falling into place this time.
Ok, well I had another appt with Susan on Monday.
Heartbeat was in the 140s. cant remember exact cause Bennett was crawling all over me and I couldnt hear what she said lol. found out the hard way that the baby doesnt like its HB heard, started kicking VERY hard right where she put the doppler. it was borderline painful. moving stopped as soon as she took the doppler off and I haven't felt a kick since.gained 5 pounds in a month, so that puts me at 25 pounds total ugh!Im measuring a little over 2 weeks ahead, but I measured big for my last 2 kids so its nothing unusual for me.so thats it, she is coming back in a month!
Here is a pic from today:
I have taken on a more rounded look rather than sticking straight out like I was last week. Look a little more normal this week
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